There’s no doubt about it, having kids will put a marriage to the test – even if you’re one of the bestselling female rappers of all time. As Nicki Minaj explained in an interview for the Vogue December cover story, the challenges of being a new parent made her doubt herself and made things difficult for her and her husband Kenneth Petty.
In 2019, frustrated by what she believed was the loss of freedom to be her authentic self, Minaj tweeted that she was retiring from the rap game to focus on her family. And she did just that, marrying her high school crush and giving birth to her now three-year-old son, who she calls Papa Bear.
As the “Super Bass” rapper explained, she thought being a wife and mom would trump her desire to make music. But she soon realized that she just couldn’t put the mic down for good.
“Maybe subconsciously, I hoped my focus would just be on being a mother, and I looked forward to that idea. It felt like a relief,” she said. “But what happens is that you find out you have to work.”
Minaj and Petty managed the challenges of parenting their infant son on their own, an exhausting 24/7 responsibility she says took a toll on their marriage.
“I’m not going to lie, things got testy between us,” she said.
Minaj said she believed her long history with Petty would allow them to overcome their challenges. But added that the inevitible self-doubt that comes with motherhood never really goes away, saying, “there’s no such thing as confidence in parenthood.”
“I kind of wish that someone had told me—although I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to understand it—that there’s a level of anxiety, and you think it’s going to go away, but in fact, it gets scarier. So often, you think: I don’t know how to do this!” she said.
Nicki has decided to embrace the role of working mom, and is back to doing what she loves, making music. Her latest album, “Pink Friday 2,” is set to drop in December.
Like it or not, the title alone will force fans to judge the new album as a sequel to her smash hit debut studio album, 2010’s “Pink Friday.” But Nicki is ready for the challenge and sees it as a chance to return to the music she wants to be known for.
“When I look back at a lot of my music, I’m like, Oh, my God, where was the me in it?” she told Vogue. “So, for this album, I went back to the old game plan.”